Suffering

I don't want this kind of feeling! PLEASE GO AWAY FROM ME! 

I'm trying to manage it but sometimes I couldn't. T_T

She came.

23/9/2011 Friday

Finally she came. Pt2 was just over.

She did put effort but then it never go smoothly, never. :(

She know, it's a 'test' given by God.

Always says 'no problem la!', 'nothing is impossible ma.' to everyone,

tell herself 'wants to be stronger from the second she met her failure.',

but in fact she can't, she can't.

 But she will never give up NEVER GIVE UP!

She really wish that he will appear in front of her whenever she needs him.

Fair?

17/9/11 Saturday

Good morning yo! 

'Always wake up with a smile, wonderful day will be right there waiting for me!', 

the writer always says to herself. :)

I'm so sorry to myself la bcos lack for the posts recently. :(

Busy preparation for my pt2 to fight for a better result, but not to aim the HIGHEST.

Seriously, I just wanna achieve a little more than what I've got in pt1, that's all.

Perhaps, this is the only place which can make myself to chill. 

Used to be like that since the day I created it.

Sometimes, it isn't, just sometimes. :)

Suddenly, I thought of this,

We are who we are [38]

[38] a set of number that I 'suka'! :D

 38geng was established on 3/10/08 thru msn/ window live messenger(named currently).

It is a group/gang which is not only fit for GIRL, but also BOY. ;)

They are from the same secondary school but different primary school. -.-

Each of them has different style, different attitude, different taste, 

but they have the same thought! 38 thought! HAHA :D

From my own perspective, 

the permanent members for this gang would be the girl's group.

About the boy's group, 

they do not have any 'permanent ID' 

as I know SOME of them will appear suddenly and unexpectedly.

Bcos they are busy for their 'business' ma. :D

No. of 38geng's members: 14 (Incl. girls & boys)

It's an awesome number as a group is not easy to mount. 

"Never say DIE once we decide to make this gang.", by the writer, peng.

Gathering before we split

26/8/11 Friday

I love the title just like I LOVE them. We are the best of the best ever. FOREVER.
"Friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things.", by Author unknown. [like]
This title was used twice by me, incl. this post ;)
Time flies fast as we notice about it, isn't it?
I did enjoy for this gathering although i felt bizarre for some moment. c:
I enjoyed and i hope that it would be a precious day for u guys! 
Good luck & all the best to them! 

1st of all, I want to say about this event which was created by mr. potato.
It was so weird bcos we let a birthday boy to plan for us. Haha.
Don't care la as long as he's willing to do so. Btw, thanks ya! :D
Didn't expect him to plan for this event seriously, I thought it will be planned by ms jen jen. c:
I reckon he had a thought to plan for this after he(she) had a jog with me.
I don't know la. I really have no idea. Anyway, we'd appreciate! 
I still remembered that I was so blue this week as I failed F5 paper. [im serious]
I'm okay, no problem as I had a weep. c:
plus, of course no problem after this outing! :D
I told myself, failure doesn't mean the end of the world! Never give up! :D

Back to the topic. An event is not easy to mount, not easy to arrange.
So, people ar must appreciate what the organizer(birthday boy) did! Arigato gozaimasu.

Proposal for gathering before we split.
Venue: Midvalley Megamall, Malaysia.
Date & time: 26/8/11, 3pm-12am.
Drivers: Chloe, Loon, Jun.
Guests: All 38geng members are kindly invited.
Intention: Farewell party as well as potato's birthday party.

Team A: Loon, Sabrina, Jen, Me.
Team B: Jun, Potato, Hong.
Team C: Chloe, Nin, Winni, Yao.
Once again, I'd appreciate for those who are being our driver. Appreciate so much.

Failure #2

Show encrypted text
wrote by peng @ 22/8/2011

Failure

22/8/11 Monday

As we know, Monday equals to Monday blue. 

Today (i mean just now) was blue for me. 

I'd been feeling blue from 12.06pm onwards.

If u are ACCA candidate, i bet u know today was a judgment day. 

Result was out just few hours ago. Everyone was so worried about their results, incl. me.

I did register for receiving result online instead of checking myself via accaglobal.com.

That's why I didn't worry that I can't log in my acca account.

Result online means accaglobal will send your result directly thru your email lo. -.-

To be frank, I got insomnia yesterday bcos I was so worried about today's result.

I know. No point to worry right now! 

bcos can't make any changes anymore once stepped out from exam hall !

But I'm  worried, anxious, nervous, afraid :[

I have no confidence in myself.

Perhaps, I didn't put enough efforts?

Perhaps, the questions set were so tough?

"I don't know. I have really no idea.", I mumbled.

My 1st time failure in ACCA.

Result was released finally. finally.

 Some people do feel so excited for this moment bcos they have confidence.

Some people do feel anxious for this moment bcos they have no confidence.

I was the one who do not have confidence. [im serious]

11am I was waiting right in front of my computer. (facebook & hotmail)

'Sth' popped out! 

Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving of life.", George Macdonald.

"Forgiveness is a gift u give yourself.", Suzanne Somers.

I like BOTH these.
They always give me an unique energy, which always make me keep calm & carry on.

To be frank,
I did feel angry & disappointed but everything will be fine soon ya. No worries ;)

Up next: [buka puasa] & [jog] :P

Feel like want to go somewhere else.

Anyone want to join my plan? I reckon there's no one.
How irony that no one accompanies me.

Nevermind. It's okay. It is not too bad la sometime. ^^

I do enjoy lotsa moment when I was alone. [im serious] ;)

I totally agree to this phrase. :)
Sometimes I was really exhausted by phenomenon surrounding me, tiring with no room to breathe. I'm not suffering, just plain tired. plain tired.
"I bet everyone got this feeling before, isn't it?", I said.

-END-

Leave me alone

29/7/2011 Fri

It's 10.16pm now. 

Feel like want to blog randomly. U know why? Even I, myself also don't know. 

Nobody will know, except myself. 

It's a truth. REALLY.

Time flies really fast. Didn't realise that the PT (coming test) is around the corner.

Busy for attending classes, doing homework, tutorial qtns, notes, revise, etc.

Do I still get any idle time?

"obviously no!", the writer shouts it out loud.

Last few days, it was a bad day for me. 

Almost fall sick. [exhausted]

Although I tried to have a small rest, but my body still can't get back into normal.

Perhaps, it is just a temporary state.

Hope I won't got flu or fall sick or etc :(

Progress Test is coming SOON. I don't want get sick.

I promise to myself, I do take care of myself very well!  

 Time flies, weather changes, ppl changes, but there's a thing that never change.

It'll be the world keeps changing.

Am I right?

Ppl changes, or bcos of ourselves (own problem)? 

We always will think of ppl change instead of ourselves, isn't it?

But sometimes, 

I do believe that we, ourselves change instead of other ppl change although it's too abstract. 

Do u have that feeling before?

I did seriously.

But I tried to make it as a positive statement in my mind.

"Positive will bring us positive again.

But, negative will never bring us positive back."

by peng @ copyright.
Just my own thoughts.

But I think it would happen. CHILL ;)

"Leave me alone & hush (shut up) if u don't want to get my scolding."

A thing that cannot be denied was I easily got mad recently @ school.

Mood swings? Maybe or maybe not.

"I still WANT to blog although no one reads.", 

the writer whispered when she's writing this post.

Feel BETTER after 'shouting' out loud HERE!

HERE: best place for me ever! ;)

[Stay tuned for the next post]

-END-

Pending posts done, mood swings

I want to shout out loud!
sea, i love sea.
swimming, love to swim in the sea.
wanna go island so much. 

Finally... completed the pending posts.

What a relief for me!

Even though my little blog not so well-known & "hot", 

less ppl will read my posts in full, less ppl know because I didn't share it via fb or else where,

but I also want to record them down, share it out, speak it out loud in my blog! 

feel warm when read them in the future.

sometimes, even can laugh my ass out when reading my posts! hahaha!

Funny! I like!

Blog can refresh all my memories with my friends, family, or even can reminisce about the past.

The only place that I can express my true feeling indeed.

don't why... I can't say it out loud sometimes... wonder...

desperate for sth... maybe or maybe not.

Anyway, just feel that...

 HERE is the best place to express my mood.

Mood swings

 last week & last last week, and caused me can't blog on time.

work for roadshows also was one of the reason that I blog late.

Many things can't get it right, feel annoyed although some of them were just small matter. 

When mood swings, all the tasks or jobs for sure can't get it right or even getting worse for the tasks.

Bad mood, worse performance, worst for the overall.

Mood has been like a whirlwind, get emotional easily.

Sob uncontrollably when watching drama, especially during the sad scene or what.

*If mood doesn't swing, I don't think I can get sob easily for this kind of drama.*

Wondering.. hormones were raging???

Hope these crazy mood swings will go away.

Hmm... Now, I think my mood become better. :)

Listen to songs, chillout myself always! :)

Sometimes wanna find someone to express it out, but didn't do it lastly :(

Perhaps, everything gonna be fine after expressing here ^^

Mood report is ended! 

-CLOSE FILE-

-END-

Could u lend me your shoulder?

收到了。收到了。

这几天心情真得很不好。今天是最糟糕的。

今天的情绪糟到透。
真的很糟很糟，啊! ! ! ! !

突然间很想找个肩膀靠一靠。

好想去海边散散心。真的好想好想。

海，真的好久好久没去海边了。

很喜欢海的味道。
很喜欢它给人那种很特别的感觉。

很喜欢，就是很喜欢。

想到它，就会想到游泳了。

游泳，我真的很想你。

糟，讨厌你！

谁可以把他的肩膀借给我靠一下？一下就好了。

Close to tears

 28/5/11 Saturday

Really can't resist it AHH!

It's damn, very, extremely PAIN! Pain Pain Pain!!

May I scream it out loud??!! 

Ouch! That hurt! That really hurt!

~!@#$%^&*

I was close to tears, seriously as I can't withstand it anymore.

Ouch!~!~!

Went for facial Saturday noon la actually. Haha.

Having a SWOLLEN face, especially my left side cheek.

Swollen from Saturday to present.

Acceptable for me, but unacceptable for u people! :)

I'm already get accustomed to this swollen face after having a "beauty treatment". SWT =.=

Although it's acceptable so far but I still feel sad about it la :(

" What's my favourite during the facial takes place? "

I'll answer: massage, exfoliate, mask definitely!

massage: release; 

exfoliate: clear; 

mask: refresh.

-by Prof. peng ^^

Exfoliation is really best for us! REALLY!

Exfoliate = scrub? I don't know, not sure. Pai sei.

But, do exfoliate to remove dead skin cells from the uppermost part of the skin! BEST!

Like exfoliate,

but NOT the process of squeezing of pimples or dirty stuffs! SWT =.=

Hope can back to NORMAL asap! 

-END-

Broga hill? Sorry

This post is only used for express my feeling, please don't think too much.


For this moment, I really feel angry & sad.

It's sad for me if ALL gonna end up with NOTHING. I don't want.

I should try to pardon sb for doing sth, perhaps?

I know it's damn difficult, but I'll try.

1st time, I did it.

2nd time, will I do it again? Wonder...

How about 3rd time? 

"Promises mean everything but after their broken they mean nothing." 

Agree.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." by Gandhi.

Agree. But it's hard to do.

GOD, why don't u bless me? 

I'm begging u, god. 

I'm completely sincere! No lie.

Why weather still like that? Don't want raining anymore, please.

1st: weather
2nd: people
Why the problems always come in on the last minutes??? Why?!

It's a hard work to us for planning this, but we're NOT avenge, I'm willing to be one of the organizer.

" Actually I'm still hoping for good weather tomorrow. 

Don't know why, really wish to go there so much, 

never been there before, want to have my 1st time with u all. 

I thought this plan gonna run successfully AT FIRST, places high hopes & expectations on it. 

BUT it seems like gonna end up with nothing. 

Weather is the main problem (as we know) then amount of people joining is the other problem. 

I really feel sad about it. 

Do u think we still want to continue this plan since some can't make it? "

Really tired to hear about sorry. I know it's not your/our fault, but relate to u/us indirectly.

Trying to convince myself to GIVE UP this plan (Cancel) 

But, it doesn't work.

I hope I can think it as a SMALL CASE...

Do miracle happen? Hopefully will... wonder...

lub dub...

16/5/2011 Monday

Actually there's nothing happened on this day,
just a small case, not a big deal ya :)

I just want to jot down since it's unique! LOL
What should I say?
Not unique. It's FUNNY! Ashamed too.
o.O

lub dub

What's lub dub???

LOL

Can u feel my heartbeat? 

heartbeat (beat, beat, beat, beat)

heartbeat (beat, beat, beat, beat)

-by 2pm [Heartbeat]

What's the next after lub dub???

Blushed, probably.

Haha.

" Met a guy because of the registration about an event. 

Btw, we never meet each other BEFORE that, just got sms & fb. LOL.

Met up with him @ cafeteria, then he started explaining 

about the event which I want to take part in. Sth unexpected happened. LOL.

lub dub... lub dub...

OMG! My heartbeat seems like generating some sounds (I can feel it).

I think I ran to meet him because 

lecturer gave us lunch break LATE 

so my heart was beating so FAST, perhaps? LOL.

Besides, I felt my face became so HOT so sudden. 

Blushed??? LOL.

After talking about the event, then he asked me what course I'm taking now.

After that, it's my turn to ask. Haha. Same question again.

He's taking Accounting & Finance, Lancaster's. 

Wow! Asked him whether this course tough or not, he answered me: ya. LOL.

Haha. Chit chat abit then BYE. Will meet him again to submit the form. 

Hope this won't happen again la. It's FUNNY & ashamed la. BOOM "

18 days left to my FINAL exam.

count from today (18/5/11).

Good Luck for my revision! Hwaiting!

Need u

Hard work didn't gimme anything in return. 

Maybe I had used a wrong technique,

maybe I didn't put enough of effort,

maybe because of weak,

maybe...

I don't know, really don't know.

I just wanna a little bit, little bit improvement only, then I'll satisfy already, seriously.

Am I greedy? 

Felt down but eveything will be okay soon. Yea. I know :)

I'll put much more effort on it!

Hope I'll get it right lastly.

Good luck.

It's a quarter after one

I'm all alone

and I need you now

said I wouldn't call

but I've lost all control

and I need you now...

And I don't know how

I can do without 

I just need you now...

Wanna be more stronger

It's time to be a big girl.

Be a big big girl.

Be more stronger. 

Physically, mentally or even sexually :)

 

I can feel my innermost becomes strange with me.

Perhaps, I become more mature???

I don't know. Really don't know. 

I just can say...

sometimes words cannot really express what we feel right now. SERIOUSLY.

Have you been this place before?

For me, YES definitely YES! Almost every time.

What I wish now...

is

wanna be more stronger than now!

I know u guys really don't understand what I talking now.

I just wanna shout it here so let forget about it after u see this ya :)

Let's gambateh & wish me good luck! 

Aza-aza fighting! GO! ^^